Categories
Self-Care

Stilling the Waters: How Quitting Social Media Saved My Life

I still remember creating my Facebook account during my sophomore year of college. It was a timely and convenient way to make new friends and keep up with an increasingly distributed social circle. In the intervening years, Twitter became an indispensable way of keeping up with global news and trends, and Instagram served as a […]

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Masculinity Self-Care

Tears and Black Masculinity

“Crying is cleansing. There’s a reason for tears, happiness or sadness.” —Dionne Warwick Get over it. Suck it up. I don’t want to hear it. Dry em up. What are you crying for? As an African American male I’ve heard all of these. Whether from my own family, friends, television or movies, it always struck […]

Categories
Awareness Black Hair Black Women Blackness Coming-of-Age Identity Self-Care

Searching For Identity In the Realm of Black Hair

A few weeks ago, I stepped away from the kinky/curly hair community for a basic haircut. I’d re-entered the space with an understanding of how I revel in the fragmentation of the African-American community. While I question what it means to be united with other African-Americans, I used my hair to play up my self-worth. […]

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Awareness Forgiveness Relationships Self-Care

On Regrets: A Tribute

[For my Sagittarian Fairy Godwriters, Mr. Carter (b. 12/4) and Ms. Didion (b. 12/5). For me. So I may never forget.] During a dark autumn in my undergraduate years , I wrote in the top margin of a composition notebook page: No answer to these trick questions / No time, shit stressin’ / My life […]

Categories
Awareness Black Power Coming-of-Age Education Personal Essay Self-Care

A Conversation With Truth

I found myself sitting in a confined space, with my knees grasped and pushed my forehead into the tops of my kneecaps. I let my fingers run angrily up and down the sides of my legs as the cadence of my inhale versus my exhale became more staccato in nature. I was burnt out. As […]

Categories
Awareness Empowerment Masculinity Mental Health Self-Care

Therapy Changed Everything

Deciding to go into therapy is a choice that often comes as a last resort. For black men, we avoid it until it becomes a self-imposed ultimatum. In my case, it was a desire. I wanted to talk to someone who held no judgement of my past. I wanted to confide in someone who held […]

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Self-Care Travel

Closing the Adventure Gap

As fall sets in across North America, I have noticed something most profound. After more than 20 years as a professional in the outdoor recreation industry, I’ve begun to see more people of color than ever before venturing out into the natural world. This is, of course, an anecdotal observation not based on numbers. But the […]

Categories
Awareness Black Women Love Self-Care

Love and Affliction

It took me a long time to figure out that my love wasn’t potent enough to be an antidote to that disease. In fact, even if the cure for that disease could have been detected within my love, the years spent responding to misdiagnosed symptoms proved to be fatal. The time spent improperly responding to […]

Categories
Awareness Identity Mental Health Self-Care

Brothers, Do You Love Yourselves?

Fat faggot was what they called me from eighth through twelfth grades. It had been just plain faggot before then. And sissy and sweet thang and Oreo and mutt and sometimes halfbreed and once or twice even cracker. But it was fat faggot that stayed. It stayed after I had graduated high school and lost […]